WHOEVER BUYS THIS FOR ME WINS MY ETERNAL LOVE
I OWN THIS
EVERY MORNING HE SAYS SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT HOW THE WORLD NEEDS YOU AND YOU HAVE TO GET UP
AND WHEN YOU PRESS THE BUTTON TO HUSH HIM HE SAYS “DEFTLY DONE, MADAM,” OR “IF IT’S NOT TOO FORWARD OF ME, THAT DID TICKLE, MADAM”
IT WAKES YOU UP WITH THE SOUND OF CHIRPING BIRDS BEFORE STEPHEN FRY’S VOICE
EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE ONE
- me in the evening: oh, staying up late isn't bad, I'll manage tomorrow
- me in the morning: AM I A FUCKING IDIOT
Imagine being stuck in an elevator with Tom Hiddleston.
#i’m so sorry you’re trapped #on this elevator #oh dear# do you want my coat #my emergency tea #yes you can have the biscuits too #oh this must be so terrible for you #would you like seventy hugs #a couple of kisses maybe #oh God why are you dead?